If you’ve been following The Pink Slip Files for a while, you know we love to share pink slips that we wrote each other years ago. And sometimes, we like to share the memories we’re making right now. The newest slip in our jar, fresh from last night, reads, “I’ll never forget that night you killed someone and then we ran away together.” Let us explain.
As kids, we both grew up on Saved By The Bell. Our childhood homes were only ten minutes apart, but long before Little Amy and Little Jordan even knew each other existed, we both shared a mutual love for this 90s TV treasure. We weren’t just fans. We wanted to be Bayside Tigers. To have lunch at The Max. To use a cell phone, with an antenna, that was bigger than our face. To help Mrs. Belding deliver Baby Belding in the elevator. To be there when Jessie sings, I’m so excited!I’m so excited! I’m so… scared and tell her that it’s going to be okay, because Zach’s on the way. To make Screech’s special spaghetti sauce in Home Ec. To meet Casey Kasem and do The Lisa. To tell Kelly that her face won’t be red forever from the zit cream. To take “time-outs” with Zach. And to work summers at Malibu Sands, play in the volleyball tournament, and help Mr. Carosi beat North Beach for the first time. Oh, yes, if we
could’ve been could be Bayside Tigers, we would’ve been still would be.
(Insert dramatic gasp here.)
After three food courses, three rounds of acting out our roles in the murder mystery with an amazing cast of friends who made us laugh harder than we had in a long time, and three rounds of interrogating each other and searching for clues about who the murderer could be (if it wasn’t Professor Plum, in the library, with the candlestick, of course!), a few things happened:
1. Jordan was declared the official murderer, which was a total surprise to him (and Amy went home with him anyways).
2.We discovered CANDY was his mistress and accomplice! This was a complete coincidence! The roles are supposed to be completely random. And yet, somehow, even our fictional, twisted, assigned characters knew they loved each other and belonged together, just like in real life. We decided to embrace that. Note: bonus points to anyone who calls us Neil and Candy the next time you see us. Bonus points to US if we catch it and play along without missing a beat.
3. Our table guessed the right murderer, so we won the grand prize of $10,000,000. Some restrictions applied. We walked away feeling full from a night with so many friends we love, and also with a plastic magnifying glass that will forever serve as evidence that we got to participate in a real murder mystery dinner.
4. Best of all? Jordan was voted “Best Actor” by the performers for his role of Neil and even got a certificate, upon which he decided that, from now on, instead of putting our biggest professional accomplishment under our email signature, it should be a list of our two (actually) proudest achievements.
So, instead of:
Amy & Jordan Photography
As Seen in People Magazine Online
His new signature will read:
Amy & Jordan Photography
1. Dillard’s Diaper Derby Champion | 8-Month-Old Division, Summer 1987
2. Best Actor | Murder Mystery Dinner, February 23, 2015
We think Zach Morris would be proud, don’t you? We never forgot, and after all these years, our Saved By the Bell unicorn was finally slayed (like Bob in the murder mystery). The moral of the story, though? It’s never too late to cross something off your childhood bucket list.
Or, you know, kill someone, run away together, and then blog about it.
We just did.
Want to catch up on The Pink Slip Files? You can read them all right here:
Intro: What Are the Pink Slip Files?
No. 1: Failing Pre-Marital Class & Otter DNA
No. 2: Sink or Swim
No. 3: Turning Off the Lights
No. 4: Leave a Message at the Tone
No. 5: Chocolates, Mystery Shows & Honeymooning
No. 6: Cutting Coupons & Wal-Mart Jeans
No. 7: Paper Chains of Memories
No. 8: Dancing on Bar Tops
No. 9: Man’s Best (Feline) Friend
No. 10: Confessions of a Waffle Fry
No. 11: What’s So Important About Shoelaces?
No. 12: Breaking Records… Like It’s 1924
No. 13: Why We’re Not as Classy as We Thought
No. 14: A Letter to My Only Starbucks Lover
No. 15: The Night We Killed Someone (Kind Of)
No. 16: Lord, It’s a Fire!
No. 17: 6 Words We Never Thought We’d Google
No. 18: How Jordan Convinced Amy… To Take Her Clothes Off. Every Time We Walk in the Door